Dad Jokes: The Ultimate List

From the Wall Street Journal, the NYTimes and The Atlantic, and over 60,500 monthly searches in Australia alone, there’s clearly a lot to be said about Dad Jokes. So, here’s our roundup of the very best.

Enter, Dads.

They may cause eyes to roll and guttural groans to escape from their audience, but let’s be honest… there is something endearing about a dad joke. In fact, the prominence of a dad joke or two has resulted in research and conversations, like this one on the Wall Street Journal between Heidi Mitchell and Robert Pierce, a professor at the University Counseling Center, that looked at the science behind dad jokes and whether they can help build stronger relationships between parents and children.

“Beyond making the audience cringe and, hopefully, bring a father a little closer to his son or daughter in a healthy manner, puns have given researchers insight into how the left side of the brain engages with the right side.

Researchers in a 2016 study published in the journal Laterality showed that the brain’s left hemisphere processes the language of the pun first, while the right side takes a few beats to catch the ambiguous dual meaning. The moments between provide for a super-awkward silence that can make a father giddy as he waits for his child to squirm and moan. If everyone laughs, then a connection has been made—and the father is reinforced to repeat these dad jokes again and again.”

We rounded up 15 of the very best dad jokes.

My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.


“What do you call a factory that makes okay products?” “A satisfactory.”

“What do sprinters eat before a race?” “Nothing, they fast!”

“Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”

“I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.”

“Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”

“Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?” “It didn’t have the guts.”

“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!”

“Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!”

“Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.”

“I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
Good thymes.”

“What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!”

“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!”

“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”

Have a dad joke to share? Email us and we’ll feature it.

Want more? Check out this Dad Jokes account on Facebook

Or these great books:

The Big Book of Dad Jokes: Terribly Good Personalized Dad Joke Book


Dad Jokes: Making Your Dad Laugh Out Loud: Jokes For Adults


The Big Book of Dad Jokes: Terribly Good Personalized Dad Joke Book



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